it's good to be back, mentally and physically drained week. i can't think and work proeperly now. sunday alone was a killer, a series of 1min ins and outs, not the sunday i expected. monday was full of practical lessons, hot day. tusday, IPPT test, got gold, and the gold comes with a bonus 200 bucks! a pat on the shoulder for me. wednesday and htursday, superbly shagged, considered my first engineer outfield exercise. landmind field camp, no sleep, enitire day of digging holes to place mines. area of ops, bigger than a football field. on thursday itself, we did the landmine cluster, the ground, stoney! imagine the sparks i see everytime i whack the changkol into the ground. darn hard to dig. the moment we went back to camp, after finishing settling all the stores, i knocked out on my bed. slept for around 5hrs or so and here comes the next day. today, lectures in the morning, i was practically sleeping, or dozing off la. afternoon, practical test, still sian, but by evening, load stores for monday's live firing. super high mood, why? cos the faster we finish loading the stores, the faster we get to book out. fair enough, we got to book out after the stores were loaded up. that's the tough week i've been through, and more to come. but due to the training i can confidently say i've gotten to be much more fitter than i used to be. cos of all the training and push up regimes and stuff. and my endurance level, higher, much higher than before. but still, i'm only human, still trying to cope with the life in ETI. give me strength!

here i am again, i've been having to book in early ever since i'm in nee soon, don't ask me why, ask the person who planned the schedule. i'm still tired, haven't recovered from fatigue, i'm gonna need a long long rest. home is illusionised to be paradise, and camp to be boulevard of suffering. life is monotonous, pre-planned and we're fingered around like puppets. i guess they just like to see us running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. life's been tough, but it has still been possible. some optimism in pessimism. well well, time to stop all my squabbling and book in. till i'm back..

i've been wanting to update since friday night, but i haven't been able to login. never mind that, gotta book in later. gonna make a trip down to beach road to get some stuff, seems like i've been going to beach road for every book out. just to summarise, the real training has started in ETI (Engineering Training Institute). the amount of sleep we get, max 4-5hrs/day. so it gets really tiring. very easy to get extras, guard duties etc.. there really is no time, time is always the enemy, fighting against time. and booking out means alot more to us now. right now i'm just looking forward to chinese new year, i need a break. was hoping i could meet the guys for a meal or something, but it seems like everyone is busy, so well, i watched prison break at home. it's damn nice, wonder if i can break out of camp and not get AWOL. i'm hungry now, gonna get some food, blog in again.

it's the time of the week again, book in day. i'm gonna move off very soon. well the weekend has been peaceful, got all the time to myself, well cos my buddies are busy so i don't have to entertain them. i had a good rest, but it's never enough. every week, i feel the fatigue and it seems like it never goes off. the following months to come, it's gonna be tough, bite it through till may and everything's gonna taste sweet once again. i've been thinking bout my future, the thing about ns is u don't have to worry about it, rather, it's what happens after ns that's worrying. what am i gonna do after my ns? work? study? sign on? to be honest, i haven't got the answer yet, but i'm on the right track, i'm just stuck at a junction, which path to take? a step at a time. time for me to go, till next week..

booked out last night, nearly couldn't cos we couldn't meet the timing. the whole of yesterday was busy, work work and more work. quite a number of guys are going over to chemical, bomb disposal and bridging. me? staying at ETI to be a field engineer. but i hope i'll be able to be an amour engineer though, anyway the armour engineers aren't gonna be posted out so soon, so i still have a chance. finally, i had a good rest last night. haven't been able to get a nice good rest since i touched down. brunei was taxing, plus the booking in and yesterday and stuff, fatigue is catching up with me. well, i can't compare. at the end of the day, it all makes it more worthwhile to be standing on the parade square. gotta go to beach road to get some stuff later, maybe get royston along, then can give him a lift to the bike shop too. alright time to goooo..

the prodigal son returns! as u can see, i changed the outlook of my blog, there are still some stuff i haven't done yet cos i've got no time. gotta book in soon. alright, the trip to brunei was a tough 11 days. i'm lazy to type out what i've been through cos there's just too much. i can only say it was a very good experience but i wouldn't want to go through it again. alot has happened while i was away, my bro is broke after he met with the unfortunate accident. he might not win the case and if that happens, he's gonna be fined and he will get demerit points. let's hope things will turn out fine. the fridge broke down, but it's fixed now (so i can have cold drinks). rodney is wearing long pants to school now, cos he's in the upper sec, kinda funny to see him in long pants haha. that's about it i guess, it's been raining the whole day and i've gotta book in while all other arms are having their blocked leave, wonder when i can book out, hopefully tomorrow night. gotta go, byeee..

this will be the last time i will be blogging in before i head off to the airport. i actually wanted to change my blogskin, but i haven't found one that catches my eye. so i'll keep it this way for now. i'll only be back on the morning of 11th, and i'll be booking in on that day itself at night. so i won't be online for quite some time, cos i dunno when i'll book out. i heard we might not even get to book out, hopefully i'm wrong. duty calls on the first day of this new year, i gotta go, take care and be well my family and friends, i'll miss u people and i'll be missing u..

it's a new year, a new chapter. so what do i expect from this year? hmm i suppose it would be commissioning on the 9th of june, for everyone around me to be happy, and also most important of all, hfklasjdhfksafhksahsakhkajhoiwojcloiujnf;owaiujvfjeofjoie (classified). try guessing. i've really got nothing much to say, cos i'll be flying to brunei later at night, feeling kinda sad. the past year hasn't been that colourful for me. i dunno, maybe i just lived my life the wrong way ever since i enrolled into poly. huge mistake to make at this point of my life, but well hopefully i can rectify things this year. i wouldn't say alot has happened to me the past year, but certainly there are highlights that really changed me, very much to a better person. hopefully the year ahead is a much better one. gotta go, maybe i'll blog in later before i flyyyyy, as for now, byeeeee

new environment, new people, welcome to the home of the engineers. the expectations are higher, discipline level is much more higher, standard is higher, everything is much more tougher. so many things to do, so little time. no choice but to get used to it. till the day i'm standing in the safti parade square, i know i've succeeded in upholding the name and pride of the engineers. and darn, i didn't know there's this earthquke in taiwan, cos i haven't read the papers in a week. i lost touch with what's happening outside. a year has passed, welcome to the suck. january to june was school and work, june to present, army. once again xmas felt the same like it did for the past years. yeah, something off my chest but maybe i shouldn't have said it. what's done cannot be undone, everything's weird now. not like it used to be. a new year's arriving, and i'll be flying to brunei. new year's resolution? i never thought about it, cos by the time another year is over, i'd forget bout it. but if there's really anything at all i suppose it's commissioning. gonna change my blog skin soon, somehow i think this blog ain't my style.

it's x'mas eve, what's the big deal? i'm still not into the mood yet. i thought i'd enjoy this year's x'mas but i suppose it's been 4 years already and i'm used to thinking that this is just a normal day. something has been troubling me, it's not the past, i've long forgotten bout it already. i never expected myself to be trapped in a situation like this. it wasn't supposed to be like this, but it ended up like this. i can't help but feel this way and i don't know what to do. make known or keep it to myself? merry merry x'mas, lonely lonely x'mas

i'm back! not that i wasn't back during the weekends, in fact i booked out on friday. but my com crashed and i couldn't use my com. had a great week. mainly social night and passing out from service term. well the social night was not that bad, but it could be better. that's what i thought. peilnig was my date, haha the 1st bad thing to happen is to be late, and it happened. so kinda bad to start with haha. it was an enjoyable night, at least to me. and i hope i was a good date haha that, only she can judge. then next thing will be the passing out from service term. was supposed to go for hte 23km route march, however due to the rain, the route march was cancelled. it has been raining for almost everyday. really nice to sleep, especially when im at home. i'm posted to combat engineers, will be reporting to engineering training institute at nee soon camp on tuesday. and i will be flying to brunei on the 2nd of januray next year, very soon. so it's on to the next phase of attaining the prestigious sword, and this, is the most important phase. may the force be with me..

back from platoon field camp, im tired. 5d4n, what do we do? walk, walk and walk. then we attack, and defend. during defence, dig, dig and dig. then we recover all the shellscrapes and trenches. end of platoon field camp. the end result i got, rashes, blisters, aches and fatigue. the only thing beautiful i've seen during the field camp, is the moon. full round moon, majestic and empowering. it's bright with aura and full of energy, if only i could watch it with someone.
gotta reach wingline at 0700hrs later, cos of regimental duty, duh :-( why do we have to do it? i booked out this afternoon. came home to change and wash up then went out to meet peiling. had ben & jerrys, heavenly haha i forgot the last time i had that. i met the guys later in the night. we went to machperson to have a nice supper. i just finished chatting with dear mum, haa how funny she is. but it's nice chatting with her, or maybe i should just get her to read my blog hahaha finally, it's the festive season once again, x'mas is coming, so is end of service term. but end of service term = start of pro term, another tough phase.

i'm tired, time to sleep.

once again, it's sunday, i used to like sundays but now i hate it cos in moments to come i'm gonna be on the long and lonely journey back to camp. went to granny's place yesterday, nice gathering and before i knew it, it's already past midnight, another staurday gone. met the guys at lor 8 for awhile before heading home. breakfast this morning was good, had very nice kaya loti at killiney road kopitam with the same bunch of friends, the best kaya loti i must say, much better than yakun. not forgetting the very nice kopi-o. it's always nice, to come together with the guys for that one time in the week just to sit down and chit chat. catch up with each other, afterall we've known each other for almost 7 years already. and i'm pretty sure we'll go a long way down the road and talk about what we do now. it is till i'm in the army then i realised all these meeting up for dinner or breakfast of gatherings, it's stuff to cherish. when we talk about the past, how we used to play soccer together, do stupid things in class, we know we had fun. but of cos, there are regrets, but well the past is the past, the future is what we must look forward to, thats the only thing we can change. back to reality, 5d4n field camp, it starts tomorrow. it's gonna be tough, no one to complain to :-( i can't possibly bring my handphone there, i'd probably get a few extras. i'm gonna miss chatting with u every night la haha u know who u are. hopefully when i come back i won't be unrecognisable cos of all the mozzie bites. long week ahead sighhhhh...

back again. i booked out last night, but the connection was slow last night so i decided to blog today instead. long weekend, cos of the fieldcamp next week. the last week was fairly fast, GPMG live firing on monday. deadly weapon, one hell of an experience. defence planning on tuesday and went to mandai for recce on wednesday. thursday we had our 16m route march. and friday mainly used for loading of stores as preparation for fieldcamp. thats about it. during the route march, i was the rear scout. was walking with LT Jon so we chatted throughout. he's a nice guy, he shared his experiences, from personal to army stuff. it reignites the fire buring in me. the burning flame of learning, of wanting to be the best, to be given the sword. but meanwhile, i gotta worry bout the fieldcamp first. well, tough times don't last, tough men do. it's a dark saturday morning, cos it's gonna rain soon. nice weather to sleep, maybe i'll take a short nap :-)

check out the pic! i find it very natural, cos i wasn't even aware it was taken. a round up of the week. a mind taxing week, used alot of my brains doing AOP (Approval Of Plan). the 5 days passed by quite slowly but nonetheless, i still gotta go through it, so be it. hmm had demolition live firing, it was bombastic! claymore rules! i wanna blow that up again if given the chance to. i think thats about the main events that happened, nothing much that i remember. the other thing is, i nearly couldn't book out because of some imbecile bastard who doesn't think. this means i have to be on my toes all the time, cos they might put me on duty anytime anyday. nice breakfast this morning with b and ray at good ole toa payoh, reminds me of my beatty days. watched tv the whole day, and once again gotta book in later. till next week..

hmm, yesterday was a very good day, went to sentosa in the morning for platoon outing. the afternoon onwards was better, the company was good. thanks miss lim. haa hope i didnt scare u on your first bike ride haha. and im sorry for going around in circles, think i'll suggest to the tourism board to put up more sign boards haha. spent today resting at home, chatting with peiling, oh miss lim = peiling hahaha now i gotta book in so im feeling kinda down la. anyways i'll blog in again next week till then, another week of in camp suffering :-(

back to my humble abode :-) hmm quite a fruitful week, GPMG and SOC from monday to wednesday. i cleared my SOC, timing 8.54 mins. for the GPMG, i did quite well for the technical handling but not too sure bout the theory. went for this heartsavers course, learnt to do CPR haa quite funny doing it to a mannequin. but passed that course too. the delta wing happy hour was organised very well, but we didnt get to drink, why? strict orders from wing com. we had our wing cohesion day this morning, sort of a amazing race kinda thing. it's quite fun actually though we were running in full battle order. sierra idol was held in the afternoon, haha some people just cant sing, but to those who can really sing, well done! after that, book out! and here i am. haa i realised ive been chatting to peiling the whole week, hmm thanks ah for absorbing all my complains and encouraging me haha. thats all i have..

once again, i'm gonna book in soon. a pity i cant logon to blog in camp, i'm sure i'll have lots to say everyday. but it's alright, afterall i write journals in camp. the coming week should be quite busy, GPMG (General Purpose Machine Gun)! if i do remember correctly, 3 days of GPMG. hopefully it's not gonna be a tiring week. and hopefully we can book out on friday night again, which i think we can. in anyways, today seemed like a good day to me, minus the booking in of cos. chatted with peiling for like since morning till bout 1600. i think we kinda clicked well, maybe it's cos our age difference is just like 2 weeks difference? haha anyways i think she has real potential to be a lesbian. yes yes, i know u might be reading this but i purposely said that haha. do take care yeah, and hopefully i can find time to chat with u in camp yeap. it is now time for me to take my leave.. .. .. ..

u see, sometimes life gets u into this situation whereby u feel lost, simply lost. what do u live your life for? who do u live your life for? why do u live? have u ever wondered? my life's been abit screwed up since the start of poly days, i guess i've been slacking too much. but i'd like to think that nothing is too late, i can still do something bout my life. i'm stuck with army stuff now, think army, do army, army is my job. and when i'm in camp, all i look forward to is booking out. home is still the sweetest. u'll never miss home till u're away from it. at least when i'm lost, it's one place i can go to. not that the answer is there, but it's a place u'll feel safe, sheltered from troubles. i'm glad my family is always with me, especially mum, every weekend she'll cook for me without fail, that's love. not forgetting my friends, friend's i've known for almost 7 years. lotsa thanks to them, without u guys, i'm probably lost in some bermuda triangle of reality.

Gold Reward

friday night book out! yes yes! all because i got gold for IPPT last week, i'm glad, very glad. main highlight of the week is the patrol field camp, what an experience. minimal hours of sleep, and i mean like 1hr? ambush and patrol missions, swarms of mosquitoes, tiring experience. 1st time we camped at mandai, and we realised that the moquitoes there, not only commando trained but rangers too. the amount of mosquito bites on my body is so much it's like i'm having an acne outbreak. looks darned ugly. it was so tiring that the day we arrived back at wingline, which is yesterday thursday, that night we totally shacked out. for me, the moment i lied on the bed i knocked out, instantly. the worse part was, we had a test today, safety officer test and none of us actually studied cos we fell asleep. well what matters is i'm back n my sweet sweet home now. that's all for now..