it's x'mas eve, what's the big deal? i'm still not into the mood yet. i thought i'd enjoy this year's x'mas but i suppose it's been 4 years already and i'm used to thinking that this is just a normal day. something has been troubling me, it's not the past, i've long forgotten bout it already. i never expected myself to be trapped in a situation like this. it wasn't supposed to be like this, but it ended up like this. i can't help but feel this way and i don't know what to do. make known or keep it to myself? merry merry x'mas, lonely lonely x'mas