here i am again, i've been having to book in early ever since i'm in nee soon, don't ask me why, ask the person who planned the schedule. i'm still tired, haven't recovered from fatigue, i'm gonna need a long long rest. home is illusionised to be paradise, and camp to be boulevard of suffering. life is monotonous, pre-planned and we're fingered around like puppets. i guess they just like to see us running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. life's been tough, but it has still been possible. some optimism in pessimism. well well, time to stop all my squabbling and book in. till i'm back..